Home
by gweniveres
Summary: Solas and Kahalani Lavellan take a few moments' peace. A cuddling story.


The sun was warm on his back, a rare beam pouring through the canopy of trees around him; a tree had fallen and as of yet nothing had grown to cover the hole it left. Solas stretched his legs out in front of him, closing his eyes as he enjoyed the feeling. The forest air was cool, clean and smelling of green things. The sound of birds calling, insects buzzing, and small creatures going about their business was like a song to him. The ground was generally uneven and rocky, yet here was a patch of grass that had sprung up, taking advantage of the spot of sunshine.

A footfall behind him made him open his eyes, but he recognized the footsteps and the soft hum of the Anchor as Kahalani approached.

"May I join you?" she asked shyly, crossing into his line of vision. He looked up at her, smiling. The sun warmed her honey blonde hair, adding sparks of gold and red to her locks.

"Of course," he said. She smiled and sat down next to him, stretching her legs before her as if mimicking him.

She sighed softly, letting her head fall back. "This is a beautiful spot," she murmured, barely moving her lips. "The sun is so warm."

"The forest is peaceful," he replied, watching her.

"It's good to have a break," she admitted, running a hand through her hair. "I feel as though we've been doing nothing but work for… how long has it been? Since Haven fell."

"Almost three months," he replied. She whistled softly in surprise.

"It feels… shorter than that, but at the same time longer," she smiled, tilting her head to the side as she opened her eyes and looked at him. "Does that make sense?"

"It does," he smiled back at her. Her heart fluttered, her chest feeling suddenly light. She loved his smile, confident and serene. He radiated peacefulness, a sense of home, despite his dislike of the Dalish.

She reached out and took his hand, interlacing their fingers. There was a question in her eyes when she glanced at him. His expression fell for a moment, a sadness creeping in, but he tightened the grasp on her hand.

 _I love you,_ she thought, her stomach twisting. It was true. She had realized it long ago, but hadn't said it yet. She felt sure he would brush her off, or worse, reject her entirely. He was so wise, and kind, and somehow above everything that had happened to her since the Conclave. He felt right, in a world that had turned upside down around her. Solid. She needed that, treasured it, and longed to tell him that she would stay by his side forever, if he'd only ask her to.

With a heavy sigh she flopped back onto the grass, looking up through the hole in the canopy at the bright blue sky. This place felt so much like home, yet the idea of home was alien to her now. She had been homesick, the first few weeks, but the feeling had faded. Not because she didn't miss it; the memories of her days with the clan were still sweet and strong. She knew, however, that she could never rejoin them. She wasn't the same person. This Kahalani didn't belong with the Lavellan clan anymore.

Solas laid back onto the grass beside her, pulling her out of her thoughts. She turned her head to look at him. His eyes were closed, golden lashes catching the sun's light. She let her eyes trail along his profile, admiring his strong features. His lips, she thought, were certainly the most beautiful thing about him. And he _was_ beautiful, in an almost ethereal way. _When did I start to think that_ , she wondered. She had always thought of him as handsome, but now he seemed to glow. Perhaps it was because he had become so precious to her.

 _Home,_ she thought. That was what he was now. The only home she truly had. Her eyes suddenly stung and she swallowed past a lump in her throat. She refused to cry, and saught something happier to think about instead.

She rose up onto one elbow, letting out a soft cry of surprise. "Solas!" she said, her green eyes opening wide. His eyes flew open and he stared up at her, eyebrows knitting together.

"What is it?" he asked, voice tense.

"Oh!" she placed her hand on his chest, shaking her head. "It's nothing wrong, I didn't mean to startle you."

He raised his free hand to grasp the hand she had laid on him, giving it a squeeze as his features relaxed. "What was it, then, that excited you?"

"You," she said, smiling at him, "have freckles."

He frowned at her. "Do I?"

She nodded. "They are very light, but I can see them now, in the sunlight," she said. "All across your nose and cheeks."

He smiled. "I had forgotten."

She laughed lightly, almost a sigh. "You forgot that you have freckles?"

"I do not spend much of my time looking in a mirror," he replied, a hint of teasing entering his voice. She grinned at him. Hesitantly, she leaned down and pressed her lips against the bridge of his nose. He tensed, but did not protest. She pulled away, a blush mantling her cheeks.

"A kiss," she said softly, "for your freckles."

He chuckled. He slid his hand from hers, brushing his fingers across her forearm. She couldn't help but smile, feeling giddy at his touch. He pulled her gently down, and she laid her head on his shoulder, stretching her arm against his chest.

Solas breathed in the scent of her hair. The smell of the forest was prominent, but her own scent mingled pleasantly with it, and a hint of the soap she'd used to wash it earlier that very day. He closed his eyes, wishing himself in a different world, a place where he could lay with her there without hesitation, without trepidation. But his happiness at being close to her was tainted with a sadness he couldn't forget.

"Lethallan," he murmured, "we should return to camp."

"Just a bit longer," she replied. Her voice held a sad note in it, too. "Let me just rest a bit longer." Her eyes were burning, tears threatening to spill over.

He relaxed, letting his fingers brush against her shoulder as he lowered his hand to rest on the curve of her waist. His heart thumped, desire filling him, but he stayed still, focusing on the warmth of her touch as she lay there, the sound of her breath mixing with the soft chatter of the forest.

 _Please,_ he thought, his heart squeezing. _Let this moment last forever._


End file.
